One Week Smoke-Free!

Here I am 7 days in and almost one week smoke free – well, I will be by this evening.  I have no intention of taking up my 15-a-day habit again now, so am proud to say I’ve made my first week!  

I am getting a little concerned as I placed my order for my maintenance pack of Champix with the pharmacy last Tuesday and they still haven’t got my prescription yet.  They assure me that the driver is collecting it today so it should be ready this afternoon/this evening but I’ve had no phone call as yet.  I have one tablet left in my starter pack and I really don’t want to be missing any and need my new pack for in the morning – tomorrow could be very stressful otherwise.  I don’t want to come crashing down after I’ve done so well, so far.

I’ve been doing good too.  Since the episode where I rowed with my husband on Friday, things have started to improve.  I’m finding it easier as each day goes by and finding new things to do to help take the craving away (which are actually just psychological now as opposed to physical).  For example, when I went back to work on Monday, it felt really odd eating my lunch and not going out afterwards … so I still went out, just chucked a chewing gum in my mouth and went for a walk instead.  Oddly enough, not having the first one in the morning hasn’t bothered me that much.  I make a coffee, put the radio on, have a peek at Facebook for a few minutes and then off I go into the insanity that is making packed lunches and ushering the kids about, encouraging them to get ready for school whilst I get ready for work.

Chewing gum has really helped – and I seem to be drinking more coffee.  I just wish that first tablet in the morning didn’t make me feel sick.  Granted it only lasts for maybe up to an hour tops, but I detest feeling nauseous.  Even when I’ve had something to eat, it makes me feel dodgy so I’m not sure how to fight that off any more.  Gallons of water perhaps?

Anyway, here’s to Week Two and fingers crossed that the pharmacy ring to let me know that my prescription is ready for collection in the next hour or so!!!

Day 3 of Quitting

OMG – last night was a terrible night.  I had THE most worst argument with my husband I have ever had, in almost 13 years of being together.  An experience neither of us wish to repeat.  I was ready to leave him – was even planning whether or not I could afford to rent a flat with the kids, pay childcare etc.  I hated him.  Was planning divorce – the lot.  I was THE most evil bitch in the entire world, hating every breath he breathed.  I came *this* {.} close to having a cigarette.  But I didn’t.

Today, of course, totally different.  I apologised – recognised that it was down to nicotine withdrawal that I was a total cow.  Grovelled and promised to cook him his favourite Jamaican Fish Stew dish tonight.

Last night, I was sobbing, uncontrollably, screaming, shouting, swearing, didn’t give a shit what I said to him – even took to my e-cigarette.  But I came out the other side – smoke-free.

And now I feel totally different.  I’ve had cravings today but have realised that now there is no nicotine left in my body, the cravings have been down to habit rather than want.  I feel so much more relaxed, happier than I can do this.  I’ve played on the Wii Fit Plus with the kids – had a great laugh and not felt out of breath … it’s been great spending time with them too.  I seem to have the energy and enthusiasm to do so now.  And my kids are proud of me too.

Although at points today I have thought “I’m going to have a smoke tonight… just the one” .. I haven’t.  I’m stronger than this.

48 Hours Smoke-Free

As the title says really.  I’ve had a few tough moments today.  I find evenings once the kids are in bed to be particularly hard.  Nevertheless, I am proud to say that I’ve stuck with it and am still motivated.

Back to work on Monday.  That could be interesting.  I don’t know if it’s going to make things easier or not.  I hope it’s not too stressful going back as it could be my downfall, but I’ll be over 4 days into being a non-smoker by that point so that will be my motivation – not undoing all that hard work.

I’ve had a really dry mouth today but have read that it’s to do with my body getting rid of all the toxins, as well as the mild cough I’ve got.  With the cough I can feel the gunk shifting off my chest.  It’s not nice really.  I must keep going with this … whilst I am in the right frame of mind.  I know it’s going to get easier and I know I will feel so much the better for it.  

Here’s to another 48-hours smoke-free!

Effects of Smoking on your Metabolic Rate

I looked into this further and have found the following:

Cigarette smoking increases a person’s metabolic rate in part by forcing the heart to beat faster. When a cigarette is inhaled, the smoker’s heart may beat 10 to 20 times more per minute for a period of time. This causes extra stress on the heart and plays a role in heart disease, the most common cause of smoking-related death. And think about this: A smoking habit of 20 cigarettes a day puts approximately the same amount of stress on the heart as 90 pounds of extra weight would. When we stop smoking, heart rate slows down somewhat, causing metabolism to dip a bit as well.

While shifts in metabolism, along with dietary changes, can signal a slight weight gain, we can take steps to build our metabolic rate back up in ways that benefit our health rather than destroy it, as smoking does. If weight gain due to smoking cessation is something you fear or is a reality you’re struggling with, use the tips below to help you keep your weight stable as you recover from nicotine addiction.

Using Exercise to Boost Metabolism and Minimize Weight Gain

• Exercise burns calories and boosts metabolism for up to 24 hours after working out.

• Nicotine use triggers the release of dopamine in the brain, a neurotransmitter responsible for feelings of happiness and satisfaction. Exercise also releases this same brain chemical, but in a healthy way that allows us to enjoy the pleasant effects of dopamine without risking our health to do it.

• Exercise breaks down fat and releases it into the bloodstream. This works to curb feelings of hunger.

Increasing your level of daily activity provides other important benefits as well.

Exercise has been shown to:

• Help control cholesterol levels and heart disease

• Help control the effects of diabetes

• Slow bone loss associated with advancing age

I guess there are several plus points for exercise there then, so when I am completely nicotine and carbon monoxide free (in the next day or so) and have more energy, I’ll be out walking every lunchtime!

Champix – Day 8

Yesterday I had two and a half smokes (forgot I had one at 9pm).  At 10pm I was going to have another one, but I got to the back door and then I thought “No, I really don’t want this, I’ve had enough” and chucked it in the bin.  That was the turning point.  I then glared at the pack of 16 or 17 Marlboro Lights sat on the kitchen worktop, grabbed that and my lighter and slung the lot in the bin.  And that was that.  From thereon-in my willpower has been with me all the way.  I don’t know exactly what made me decide there and then but I just thought, enough is enough.

Had a bit of a bad night’s sleep.  Woke up at 3.55am and was still awake at 5am.  The craving for a fag was unreal, but I wasn’t going to let my body rule my head.  I just kept thinking “No, I’m not giving in” – I dozed off shortly after that … had a bad dream about my late mum which woke me up again at 5.30pm but then fell straight back to sleep pretty much.

Got up today, had a coffee, ignored the mild cravings for my morning ciggie and then had a bowl of porridge with some fruit in so I could take my first full-dose 1.0mg tab of Champix.  I felt fine.

Although I have had some cravings throughout the day, I’ve pretended they haven’t happened and chatted to friend’s on forums and voiced my feelings and they’ve been brilliant in their support.  🙂

So here I am 24 hours later, smoke-free.  I have also added a little App on my phone which is fab – to be fair the whole NHS SmokeFree thing is fab.  With this App, you put in how many you smoke a day, and your quit date and it counts how much you have saved and how long it’s been since you last smoked …. so far I’ve been smoke-free for 1 day and 18 minutes and saved £5.28!  (I think their idea of the cost of a pack of fags is a bit outdated to be fair – bearing in mind that Marlboro Lights have just gone up to over £8.00 a pack.  It’s most likely to be a saving of £7.28!).  It also sends me text messages with little motivational hints and tips throughout the day.  Pretty neat really and very useful.

I went to Weight Watchers tonight.  I’ve been within 5lb of my goal weight (and a non-paying member) for about 18 months – if I gain any more (even 0.5lb) I’ll have to start paying.  Despite me being hideously good food-wise this week, I gained 0.5lb taking me to bang on 5lb over my goal.  When I told my WW Leader I was gutted she did say that smoking increases your metabolism because it’s trying to burn off all of the poisons you are putting into your body.  So when you quit, your metabolism slows down.  Given time, it will settle – and she did say that the second best thing you can do for your health it to lose weight – the first is to stop smoking – so I’ll stick with it and expect a weight gain but hope that with continuing with Weight Watchers, I’ll not gain as much as I might if I just went ahead free range eating.

Still, I’m feeling pretty proud of myself for getting this far – I’d say 65% willpower, 35% Champix – and I’m going to succeed.  This time the bloody evil weed won’t be getting the better of me!

Champix after One Week

Wow, admittedly I’ve had a very hectic day today, but it’s been a good day.  I had a ciggie at about 8.20am – not long after I’d got up.  Then my next one was 4-5 drags at about 4.30pm.  (8 hours later!!!).  

I took the kids down to Leighton Buzzard to see my sis and (almost) 2 year old niece – I don’t smoke in the car when they’re in it – so we left at about 10.35am and got there at about 11.50am.  Although I did sometimes want a puff, I decided against it.  Kept fighting off the cravings and felt like I was doing well … just kept thinking to myself “I’ve gone this long, another few minutes won’t hurt” …. left there at about 3.40pm …. on to see my friend near Bedford … got there at about 4.15pm …. cuppa coffee, quick chat, decided I wanted a smoke …. 4-5 drags – didn’t want any more.  Left there at just after 7pm to drive back to Leicester.  When I told my daughter I’d had 1 1/2 ciggies all day, she said “Really Mummy?!  Wow!, try not to smoke any more tonight, I really want you to stop”…. guilt-trips r us eh ?!

So, 1 1/2 fags today and tomorrow on the full dose of Champix …. maybe I’ll be a non-smoker before 6th April eh?  🙂 

An aside to day 6 on Champix

I’ve had 6 cigarettes today – big improvement on the usual 15 … but I DO need to start eating earlier …. all these things that I do with my life have such a big impact on how much I smoke and when – yet I never realised before now…. time to make some changes x

Champix on Day 6

It’s 9 a.m. and I’m not long out of bed – loving these holidays at home!  Well, what can I say, 2 more days of a 0.5mg dose and I’m on to the full whack.  Need to ring the pharmacy today as well, to get my maintenance pack.  

I have to admit I was a bit cross at myself last night – well, make that a LOT cross.  I need to change my evening routine but don’t know how and I should bloody well be able to.  I’m struggling with that though.  Once the kids are in bed, we move to the kitchen as it’s under our bedroom and therefore there’s less noise under the kid’s rooms, so they can get to sleep (not that we’re noisy but you know what I mean – TV/cooking sounds (pots/pans) etc!).  Then I have a smoke and settle down in front of Facebook or the kitchen telly, something to eat, another smoke.  I need to get out of this habit desperately, but when it’s been years-long, how do you do that?  I don’t particularly want to eat any earlier as the last thing I want to do is start cooking the minute I walk in from a full-day’s work at 6pm – I need some time to chill and some time with the small people.  But I DO need to find something else to do.  I am seriously considering taking up cross-stitch again.  My dad and his wife are moving away and I’ve just inherited all of my late mum’s old cross-stitch, some of which aren’t finished and I’d like to complete those for her.  I  think if she were still around, she’d be really proud of me giving up smoking and using the time to do something useful – mind you, if she were still around they wouldn’t be sitting unfinished!  LOL

I DO wish I had more support from my husband … but that just doesn’t seem to be particularly forthcoming – he just sort’ve “grunts” at me – tho I guess him being a smoker doesn’t help matters.  He tells me just because I am giving up, I shouldn’t expect him too or go on at him about it, which is fair enough, he needs to want to do it.  I just wish he would gee me along a bit more!  I am finding this really tough.  Harder than I thought it would be …. but then sometimes, at the same time, easier than I thought too …. it’s very confusing!

I was also angry last night because I felt like I’m fighting a battle with myself and I keep losing (partially) … I am finding myself wanting a cigarette, but not, then wanting one, I talk myself out of it and then I go and light one up and its then I realise that I don’t actually want it, and I take 3-4 drags and put it out.  Right now I don’t know how to deal with this.  It also makes me realise what a horrible hold nicotine has over you.  And that makes me angry too.  I am finding myself pacing the kitchen trying to resist the urge of a cigarette …. most people say they want something to do with their hands …. I feel like I need something to do with my mouth… I need to be chewing on something or smoking something … perhaps chewing gum is the way forward?  

Having said that, today I feel better.  I’ve had two cigarettes all morning (and it’s now almost 1.00 p.m.) and when I got dressed I put my fleece on that I was wearing yesterday and I actually thought “Ugh, that stinks!”  I’ve also called the chemist and asked them to order my maintenance pack of Champix from my GP.

Incidentally the glass of orange juice this morning didn’t work.  I drank it but still wanted a fag.  So another little hurdle to get over.  But I’ve not gone on to the full dose yet and things might be different.  People I’ve spoken to who have given up using Champix have done well on it.  They get to the point where they literally cannot smoke any more than 5 a day and often it’s only half a cigarette – I know when I reach this point, it really won’t be worth smoking will it?

Champix – Day 5

Well, I am sticking to the “have breakfast beforehand” thing.  Five days in and I feel so much-the-better for it – no nausea and no real foggy-headed-ness.  I got myself into a bit of a state last night because the thought of my kids seeing me die a horrible death got me to the point where I was sobbing so much I couldn’t breathe.  I don’t know if that was Champix having an emotional affect on me, or the couple of glasses of wine I’d had, but it was awful.  So much so that it made me all the more determined and I actually set a quit date.  6th April 2013.  That will be two days into my full dose of Champix.

I have to say that when I got up this morning, after taking my first evening dose of Champix, I wasn’t madly craving a fag this morning although I did have one, I didn’t feel like I HAD to have one.  I also made the decision to try a glass of orange squash when I get up instead of the ciggie – it will be a sweeter, fresher taste in my mouth as opposed to the dirty cigarette.  So I’ll let you know how that goes tomorrow.  I’m trying to think how many fags I’ve had so far today, but it’s been so few, it’s not worth counting – maybe four, or five.  Five at the most anyhow!  I’d have easily had ten by now pre-Champix.  I think it really is a miracle drug.  So let’s see how we go tomorrow!

Champix – Day Three and Four

These days were pretty much the same as Day Two if I’m honest.  Although on Day Four I had to start taking a second half-dose in the evening – I still feel as if I will be better off on the full dose.  I need to speak to the chemist also about ordering my maintenance dose – hopefully a month’s worse of full-strength medication but as we’re on Easter hols, they aren’t open.  Phone call on Tuesday I think!  I am determined to do this and will report on how I feel on Day 5 tomorrow – the interesting thing will be whether or not I fancy that first-thing in the morning ciggie after I’ve taken Champix at night … I will let you know! …